Marital Dynamic Observer Gifts

"Please, please... stop buzzing the nurses every 30 seconds! My home-life has been hell since you became my wife's patient!"

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

What are we doing today? Installing raised beds. Then we'll plant them for a couple who want organic vegetables. Brilliant, Dad. Tree's Tree Nursery. You take the hard work out of gardening. Right. And give it to me! Right again!

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

Origins Of Evolution

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

'Simple case of gravity, mom.'

I think it's time he left home.'

"If it slows down, just ask my father about the murder he always swears he did not commit."

"Is this your bright idea, Janet?"

"I need a more interactive you."

Look,that is not your Daddy

"Hey. Smells funny. Fix it. And bring me a beer."

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

'Tom's always been the black sheep of the family.'

'We should talk more.'

"Just wait until my autobiographical one-woman show."

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"Really, Mr. Stevens, this fantasy of being turned into a giant frog is absurd. We both know there's no such thing as a curse, and you can't seriously believe your mother-in-law is actually a witch. . ."

"Your mom is a little overprotective, isn't she?"

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

'You were right. We should have gotten a lap dog.'

'Will I be able to have a night light if we switch to solar power?'

"And what can I do for you, Sir?"

'oh...You're home, just when my spirits were rising.'

"If I could choose any age I'd be forty-two again. You were hot when I was forty-two."

"Now mommy, I know there has been some bad blood between us."

"Son, this is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you."