Marital Dynamic Observer Pillows

"Please, please... stop buzzing the nurses every 30 seconds! My home-life has been hell since you became my wife's patient!"

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

'Simple case of gravity, mom.'

I think it's time he left home.'

"Is this your bright idea, Janet?"

"If it slows down, just ask my father about the murder he always swears he did not commit."

"I need a more interactive you."

Look,that is not your Daddy

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

"Just wait until my autobiographical one-woman show."

"Hey. Smells funny. Fix it. And bring me a beer."

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"Really, Mr. Stevens, this fantasy of being turned into a giant frog is absurd. We both know there's no such thing as a curse, and you can't seriously believe your mother-in-law is actually a witch. . ."

'We should talk more.'

'Tom's always been the black sheep of the family.'

"Your mom is a little overprotective, isn't she?"

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

'You were right. We should have gotten a lap dog.'

"And what can I do for you, Sir?"

'Will I be able to have a night light if we switch to solar power?'

"The gods aren't angry, Tara. They're just hurt and disappointed."

"Son, this is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you."

'oh...You're home, just when my spirits were rising.'

"Now mommy, I know there has been some bad blood between us."

"If I could choose any age I'd be forty-two again. You were hot when I was forty-two."