Comedic Conductor Gifts

No Instruments Please

Liverpool's Philharmonics orchestra become the first to play below sea level by performing the Mersey Tunnel to mark its 60th anniversary.

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

Dance of the sugar plum tax attorneys.

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

'This 'Hamlet' thing you're working on... Do you think you could write in a part for Lady Godiva?!'

Lady sees door sign next to ENT: 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'.

Jumble Sale

Footballer playing for time

'Do you mean I leave a lot to be desired bad, or a lot to be desired good?'

Jeff makes some nice jugs.

"Just once, can we not talk about politics."

"I got connections. We'll pull a few strings, get you out of here in no time"

Fisherman Funneral

"I understand she's marrying him for his condominium in Fort Lauderdale."

Rollercoaster police chase.

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

Alexander Graham Bell receives his first telephone call.

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

Unhappy Cows from neighboring states visit California.

Choir wearing masks.

"Fruit salad? Count me in!"

'Elections are easier to understand if you think of them as performance art.'

"You can't beat Channel 5's sport coverage."

"I wasn't texting while driving. I was driving while texting."

"Connect the dots"

"We haven't been married long enough for you to reprimand my dog."

'I told you we should have protested against that windfarm'

'Hike the Alps? I'm getting out of breath just keeping my foot on the accelerator!'