Comedic Conductor Gifts

No Instruments Please

Liverpool's Philharmonics orchestra become the first to play below sea level by performing the Mersey Tunnel to mark its 60th anniversary.

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

Dance of the sugar plum tax attorneys.

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'This 'Hamlet' thing you're working on... Do you think you could write in a part for Lady Godiva?!'

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

Lady sees door sign next to ENT: 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'.

Jumble Sale

Footballer playing for time

Jeff makes some nice jugs.

'Do you mean I leave a lot to be desired bad, or a lot to be desired good?'

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

"I got connections. We'll pull a few strings, get you out of here in no time"

"I understand she's marrying him for his condominium in Fort Lauderdale."

"Just once, can we not talk about politics."

Fisherman Funneral

Rollercoaster police chase.

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

Alexander Graham Bell receives his first telephone call.

"Why aren't you wearing any pants?"

"Connect the dots"

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

"I wasn't texting while driving. I was driving while texting."

"Fruit salad? Count me in!"

Government a la Carte

Unhappy Cows from neighboring states visit California.

Choir wearing masks.

'Elections are easier to understand if you think of them as performance art.'

"We haven't been married long enough for you to reprimand my dog."

"You can't beat Channel 5's sport coverage."