Comic Conductor Gifts

"From the top - 'Watermelon Man.' Let's sock it out and give Mrs. Ritterhouse a chance to really cook!"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."

No Instruments Please

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

'I was hoping traffic would ease up after the polar ice cap melted.'

"Take me home now!"

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

Spatula Conductor

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

A musician bowing a tiny guitar

'In the middle of the second movement, Rodney's worst fears were realized; Phillippe began to sing along.'

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

Martian Rovers find proof of intelligent life on the red planet.

Trapeze artists commuting

Rob Brydon.

Beep' 'beep' 'beep' 'beep'' - 'Slam!' - 'Great... another long week of pain and humiliation ahead...' - ''Click'' - 'God, Ilove my job.' - '' -

Things Women Never Say: 'Sorry I'm late boss. I was talking to my husband and he wouldn't stop listening.'

Riding instructor waits to fish a child out of jumping obstacle.

Honey I'm Home

Airbus

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."

Theme Park 'n' Ride

Air Guitar, Electric Air Guitar.

Metrocard error messages

Need a Lawyer?

65. Whenever I'm in the mood to watch the rest of the world go by, I simply keep to the legal speed limit.

"I will now play a familiar seasonal piece."

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror