Transport Comedian Gifts

The Ubiquitous.

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

"Take me home now!"

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

Beep' 'beep' 'beep' 'beep'' - 'Slam!' - 'Great... another long week of pain and humiliation ahead...' - ''Click'' - 'God, Ilove my job.' - '' -

Straddling bus stop above a regular bus stop.

Martian Rovers find proof of intelligent life on the red planet.

Trapeze artists commuting

Honey I'm Home

Airbus

Emma's Bridal Wear: Gowns Veils Trains

Auditions: To Perform at Metro Stations Today.

Need a Lawyer?

A horse and cart metamorphosing into a snail.

Metrocard error messages

"I got held up in Suez."

"I get it...you went south for the winter. Now, don't you think it's time to ditch the shirt?"

'Turn right at the first $4.09 unleaded, then a hang a left at $4.03 unleaded, and over the bridge, past the $4.01 unleaded...'

Fare Evader

'Trouble is, I only want to wear them for cycling to work.'

"...He's been going to work in a wheelie bin. He says its quicker, cleaner and less cramped"

Metro North Entrance: Closed because it's broken.

"I have found a house in your price range, but it will be a long commute every day from Greenland."

"Excuse me, would you mind taking your portable zombie game to another carriage?"

"Me, it's not a shower I crave for after a hard day at work, it's a long, long, long bath..."

'I'll fix you! But Good!'