Global Transport Humorist Gifts

"I got held up in Suez."

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Airport Security.

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

The Uber Ride of Paul Revere

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

Biliard Enthusiast

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

"I think I know why they call it 'Happydale'!"

'HA! Your last chance 86 miles back.'

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"Admit it, you're lost!"

"I could have sworn Arizona was landlocked."

"It seemed bigger in the brochure."

'Are we nearly there yet Dad?'

"Nice landing, Captain Crunch."

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.