Global Transport Humorist Pillows

"I got held up in Suez."

Airport Security.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

The leaning tower of Pizza.

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

Biliard Enthusiast

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"I think I know why they call it 'Happydale'!"

'HA! Your last chance 86 miles back.'

"Admit it, you're lost!"

"It seemed bigger in the brochure."

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

"Next time, I'm flying business class."

Airport Toilet Hand Drying Machine

"Nice landing, Captain Crunch."

'Are we nearly there yet Dad?'