Comedic Communication Connoisseur Gifts

'You've got to help me, Doc -- I keep switching long-distance companies!'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Dialogue

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

Men gossiping

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"Help! I'm surrounded by idiots."

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'Choose, Fenster

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

'Wine represents all things civilized. It's an artistic expression, a manifestation of cultural enlightenment...'

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

Harvey went to the kitchen to top up his gin and tonic. When he came back, things took an unexpected turn.

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

Your Leaders Putting Words Into More Words

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"It's not easy texting my mother. She's an English teacher and all she does is correct my spelling."

'It's Blurred.'