Comedic Communication Gifts

'Speak up!'

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

Get crazy once in a while

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

I'm getting old, I spotted a couple of brown hairs among the punk.

'Well, given that you have three broken ribs, laughing is bound to be painful...'

'I can't understand how those burglars could clean out our house so quietly.'

Monkey Business College

"Don't think of it as forgetting stuff. Think of it as freeing up brain space."

"You sure are ringin' my bell, Baby!"

"It's our latest celebrity scent, it's called Elon Musk. It smells like money!"

To insure Rodney's safe websurfing, Thelma sets her own parental controls.

"The first week back is always the hardest"

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

'Do you mean I leave a lot to be desired bad, or a lot to be desired good?'

'Nice this kite sailboat. But how do you actually land it?'

'I hope we don't start getting competition from redundant bankers homes.'

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

'You misunderstand, squire. All I do is guarantee that my cars are USED!'

I'm a logofile, Lance. That means I'm a lover of words. What's the word for a lover of logs? "#@%=$!"

So, what disturbing topic would you like to talk about today, Al? How about your new combover, Doctor?

'Still saving money to finish that nose job eh?'

Look at all our kids' clothing! Sneakers made in Vietnam. Pants from China. Sweaters from Thailand. Sports gear from Macau! They don't need so much stuff!! One obvious rule will stop all this consumerism. Good idea! Kids! From now on

He's working his way up to lions!

We live in a cancel culture? Somebody needs to tell this magazine's subscription department.

'You've got to help me, Doc -- I keep switching long-distance companies!'

'I chase women, but only to tell them about investment opportunities.'

"Say: 'Alien Abduction'."

Men telling stories

"The predictions of the Loam farm model do make depressing reading...overheads and rents are skyrocketing, prices are down...but the government has suggested a strategy for solving the problem!"

Mr Briggs's sPleasures of Fishing - No. I