Comedic Spirit Gifts

'Your fly snapped off three hours ago, young man, but you were casting so beautifully I didn't want to disturb you.'

Man's indomitable sense of adventure.

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

'Well, given that you have three broken ribs, laughing is bound to be painful...'

'Nice this kite sailboat. But how do you actually land it?'

A 'fruitcake disposal' receptacle is set out during Christmas time . . .

"Say: 'Alien Abduction'."

'I sold all the clothes I got for Christmas on E-Bay!'

He's working his way up to lions!

'Alice, the blonde, speaking.'

'You're too old for Valentine, Tito!'

"I too prefer these dress optional dos."

I'm getting old, I spotted a couple of brown hairs among the punk.

Get crazy once in a while

"Ted's flamboyantly straight."

'Look at the bright side of it!'

Mr Briggs's sPleasures of Fishing - No. I

Health Insurance Co. They say laughter is the best medicine so I'm pretty sure this new premium quote is meant as a little joke.

"It's our latest celebrity scent, it's called Elon Musk. It smells like money!"

"And what say you, Dermatitis?"

"Me? I thougt they were your anniversary surprise!"

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

X-RAY

Washing Machine Torture

'Do you mean I leave a lot to be desired bad, or a lot to be desired good?'

'I wish I looked like a model.'

'Have you put her on the strict diet I prescribed?'

'I warned her that too much dieting could be a danger to her health!'

'I hope we don't start getting competition from redundant bankers homes.'

"My mating dances were unsuccessful, so I tried reciting poetry: didn't work either..."

"I'm $37,000 in debt for my theatre degree. I may be acting, but my tears are real."

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

'I want a refund! It refuses to go into my son's room!!'