Comedic Essence Gifts

He drifted for months, with nothing to sustain him but a single pina colada and enormous love handles.

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"Who's got the hammer?"

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

Man with fishing line going into water. Fishing line coming down from sky.

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

Get crazy once in a while

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

Breast Height Chart

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

'The guys say that the stripper won't be available before our wedding...would you mind if I had my bachelor party after the honeymoon?'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

'I used to trade in futures until I learned the planet doesn't have one.'

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

I'm getting old, I spotted a couple of brown hairs among the punk.

'Well, given that you have three broken ribs, laughing is bound to be painful...'

Washing Machine Torture

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

'Alright, alright. I had a hard day fighting crime. No need to get smart about it.'

"It's our latest celebrity scent, it's called Elon Musk. It smells like money!"

"I knew you'd understand."

"Our records show that you unsubscribed to our company's e-newsletter. We need to have a little talk."

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

"Wait! It gets even crazier!"

Cat doctor to cat patient sitting on exam table 'All I'm saying is liposuction won't help if you don't lay off the tuna smoothies.'

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'

How cats see their home

"I guess I'll never understand women."