Comedic Essence Mugs

He drifted for months, with nothing to sustain him but a single pina colada and enormous love handles.

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"Who's got the hammer?"

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

Man with fishing line going into water. Fishing line coming down from sky.

Get crazy once in a while

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

Breast Height Chart

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

'The guys say that the stripper won't be available before our wedding...would you mind if I had my bachelor party after the honeymoon?'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'I used to trade in futures until I learned the planet doesn't have one.'

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

I'm getting old, I spotted a couple of brown hairs among the punk.

'Well, given that you have three broken ribs, laughing is bound to be painful...'

Washing Machine Torture

"I knew you'd understand."

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

'Alright, alright. I had a hard day fighting crime. No need to get smart about it.'

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

"Wait! It gets even crazier!"

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

Cat doctor to cat patient sitting on exam table 'All I'm saying is liposuction won't help if you don't lay off the tuna smoothies.'

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'

"I guess I'll never understand women."

"When I said the surgery was minimally invasive I wasn't talking about your finances."

How cats see their home