Comedic Companionship Gifts

"Of course you know nothing about me, whenever I try to tell you something you fall asleep!"

"I heard they mate for life."

Get crazy once in a while

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

Diving Cat.

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

'You had better eat those intestinal organs or there's no dessert for you!'

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

I'm getting old, I spotted a couple of brown hairs among the punk.

Best friends without borders.

'Well, given that you have three broken ribs, laughing is bound to be painful...'

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

"Listen, and I'll explain it to you again..."

"I'm against pain killers for players, but I'm for them for supporters."

"I touched another squirrel's nuts. Any other questions?"

'Nice this kite sailboat. But how do you actually land it?'

'I'm sick and tired of begging!'

'You told me I should run the house like a business, so what am I bid for dinner?'

'I thought you said inflatables were allowed on the beach.'

Why Men Get Angry and Why Women Get Angry

He's working his way up to lions!

McHappy

"Sure, it's disgusting, but it's nice to have something that needs me."

'How can I miss you if you won't go away!'

Searching for condom.