Communication Connoisseur Gifts

"Say what's on your mind, Harris - the language of dance has always eluded me."

BMA told to radically overhaul communications.

Active listening, session 1 "I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd hoped,three of them misheard the date,five got the time wrong and everyone in sales went to a hotel in Scarborough by mistake."

'Can we swap glasses? It might help me see your point of view!'

'Negotiating skills need fine tuning.'

'I said, how do you send a text with this thing?'

'The campfire's down and I can't send any messages. Call IT.'

'Do you have a card that stops short of saying I'm sorry yet vaguely hints at some wrongdoing?'

"We need someone specializing in interpersonal communication. I'll text my decision."

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

'Hitting each other over the head with clubs may not be perfect, but it's the best system anybody's come up with so far.'

"He said 'Tomato.' I said, 'Did you just say something?' He said, 'Nevermind.' I said, 'No—WHAT?' He said, 'Skip it.' I said, 'For God's sake, just spit it out.' He said, '..."

"Samuel Morse, stop fooling with that telegraph thing. People will never talk to each other with their fingers."

"I don't know cursive and you don't know emoji. I'd say that makes us even."

Information, Clarification, and Correction.

Being hard of hearing made Ursula every pharmacy customer's worst nightmare.

"Let me try to explain this from another angle..."

"Honey, let me call you back—I'm bored."

Broccoli: Just Full of Surprises!

'Sometimes I think you don't listen to a word I say!'

'My people need to speak to your people.'

'Closing the letter with 'Very fondly yours' seems okay but let's run it by legal, to be sure it cannot be misinterpreted as sexual harassment.'

"It's not easy texting my mother. She's an English teacher and all she does is correct my spelling."

This crisis!

'It's one of my many talents. I can not talk and not listen at the same time.'

"I once mistakenly thought I was dating someone for a whole month because I couldn't tell his texts were sarcastic."

"Just need a minute to send a quick email and the three hours to wonder if the tone was appropriate."

"Yours is the one with the hearing aid."

"I can't reach the intercom, Miss Brookes."

"It's amazing. Nobody's changed."

"Our open office has encouraged innovative ways to communicate."

"Hello - I'm on a train of thought."

"Scientists have now confirmed the human body is phasing out the vocal cords, due to texting and other nonverbal means of communication."

'Don't tell me the office intranet is down again!!'

'Benson, when I asked for your 'undivided attention', I meant that more as a figure of speech.'