Communication Connoisseur Gifts

"Say what's on your mind, Harris - the language of dance has always eluded me."

BMA told to radically overhaul communications.

Active listening, session 1 "I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd hoped,three of them misheard the date,five got the time wrong and everyone in sales went to a hotel in Scarborough by mistake."

'Can we swap glasses? It might help me see your point of view!'

'Negotiating skills need fine tuning.'

'I said, how do you send a text with this thing?'

'The campfire's down and I can't send any messages. Call IT.'

'Do you have a card that stops short of saying I'm sorry yet vaguely hints at some wrongdoing?'

"We need someone specializing in interpersonal communication. I'll text my decision."

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

'Hitting each other over the head with clubs may not be perfect, but it's the best system anybody's come up with so far.'

"Help! I'm surrounded by idiots."

"Let me try to explain this from another angle..."

"Samuel Morse, stop fooling with that telegraph thing. People will never talk to each other with their fingers."

"I don't know cursive and you don't know emoji. I'd say that makes us even."

Being hard of hearing made Ursula every pharmacy customer's worst nightmare.

"He said 'Tomato.' I said, 'Did you just say something?' He said, 'Nevermind.' I said, 'No—WHAT?' He said, 'Skip it.' I said, 'For God's sake, just spit it out.' He said, '..."

Information, Clarification, and Correction.

'Sometimes I think you don't listen to a word I say!'

Broccoli: Just Full of Surprises!

"Honey, let me call you back—I'm bored."

"It's not easy texting my mother. She's an English teacher and all she does is correct my spelling."

Postmodernist Pat, "the advent of 'electronic mail' has of course transcended the traditional 'sender-purveyor-receiver' relationship"

'My people need to speak to your people.'

'Closing the letter with 'Very fondly yours' seems okay but let's run it by legal, to be sure it cannot be misinterpreted as sexual harassment.'

'It's one of my many talents. I can not talk and not listen at the same time.'

This crisis!

"Just need a minute to send a quick email and the three hours to wonder if the tone was appropriate."

"Yours is the one with the hearing aid."

"I would have thought it OBVIOUS that when I said I didn't want ANYTHING I obviously MEANT that I wanted the diamond ring I showed you!"

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

"I can't reach the intercom, Miss Brookes."

"I once mistakenly thought I was dating someone for a whole month because I couldn't tell his texts were sarcastic."

"Hello - I'm on a train of thought."

'Benson, when I asked for your 'undivided attention', I meant that more as a figure of speech.'