Communication Connoisseurs Gifts

"This active listening workshop sounds useful..." "Why would I want to go to Worksop?"

The End of the Worker Bees

'Of course you can't understand a word he says, he's the station tannoy announcer.'

"Mrs. Porterhouse and her pianist have agreed to disagree."

'Well, you complained that you wanted the newspaper porched.'

"Yeah, I see the outgoing calls, but what about the introverted ones?"

'Without my speech writer I'm worried I may say what I mean.'

Smoker empties tobacco from pipe, then empties words from phone.

'Language is a great invention, but what if it leads to hate speech?'

Miracles of Modern Technology #12: Transport & Communications

'Talking to you is futile. I'm beginning to regret I ever escaped from the primate speech institute.'

"I don't think he has anymore shelf space left in his head"

"I think the lines down!"

Campaign for Plain English

This Message Has No Content

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Dialogue

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

She - Interpreter - He.

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

Ruddy bloggers!

Men gossiping

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."