Online Communication Connoisseur Gifts

Bird to bird: 'If I'm not careful, I could twitter my life away.'

Campaign for Plain English

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

Moses on the web

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"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

Dialogue

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

She - Interpreter - He.

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

"OMG, LOL!"

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

Online Dating

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

Ruddy bloggers!

"Help! I'm surrounded by idiots."

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."