Comedic Connoisseurs Gifts

'I'm not ready to learn about the birds and the bees, Dad...the birth trauma is still too fresh in my mind.'

'I'm new here-where are all the nuns?'

'Do you have an appointment?'

"The Doge ate my homework."

I don't care if the paint's not dry yet, Bob – I need my brass knuckles.

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

'He likes to power nap.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Night of the Latkes

Farm Humor.

The Family Joules: Part 16

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Happy Hour

The Trojan Beagle.

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

10 Good Things about a Minnesota Winter.

The Snarky District

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'Satchel, I have just had a revelation.'

Emergency Phone.