Comedic Adventures Pillows

Later, in the Intensive Care Unit, James suddenly remembered that beer, bravado and Rottweilers don't mix

'Well, occasionally it is good to see team members outside the office.'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

Double Saxophone

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

Great, the skeletons of all the other cartoon characters who were here before us.

Joe, this is not my idea of 'paint night at the bar.'

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

Lambo

"Call me a hopeless romantic, but I assumed he was just inviting me."

'That time of year, eh Ben, don't know whether to go hunting or fishing?'

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

"Lost, what are you talking about? I'm not lost!"

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

"It's your husband from beyond. He says stop trying to 'Google' him."

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

"I have to go wee-wee."

'Not much game about today,boy!'

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

Maps to the Stars

'I didn't know I had to bring a rifle. I'm sort of new at this. Last time I went hunting it was for Easter eggs.'

'And thank you for a lovely evening!'

"Yes, dear, we're caught in a cycle...but you can hardly call it a vicious cycle."

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

Eskimo in Igloo

'No, not that Bill Gates.'

"Of course I flunked the spelling test. My pencil doesn't have spell check!"

"Also, this apartment comes with easy access to the stray cats in the alley."

"Baldo, this is Humberto...he moved to the United States last month?"