Comedic Travel Escapades Pillows

'We're supposed to be going to Cornwall! That sign back there said 'Welcome to Scotland'!'

Airport Security.

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

Car carrying bikes, biker carrying car.

"Enjoy your stay at the Bat Hotel. Breakfast is at 7 a.m. The guano bucket is down the hall and to the left."

"How can we get away from it all if you're bringing it all with you?"

'Know any other bed-time tricks?'

'Two please-and I mean TWO boats!'

Touring Holidays - On the P***

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

'I'm going to love having me in Haiti.'

"Loved our evening, Lou. Thanks for being rich."

'That time of year, eh Ben, don't know whether to go hunting or fishing?'

Six arms, no waiting.

"Have you got any after ten tours for people who never get up before eight-thirty?"

I need a Valentine card that proclaims undying love but doesn't commit me to anything.

'Let's go somewhere where I can be alone.'

'Not now, Lord!'

Fourplay.

"I dreamt I was on a desert island with seven starving women."

"You're not much of a romantic, are you?"

'Do you have anywhere where they'd think I was good looking.'

"Gee, I'm sorry this had to happen on our first date!"

'...How could your wife possibly know we're in Venice?'

'It was so romantic. The sun, the sea, the mud.'

"If my dad asks where we met just say 'on holiday'."

Non-smoking. Do you have a footsies section and a non-footsies section?

"You should have told me you needed advice."

"Yes, who do I punch in the face for overbooking my flight?"

Currency Exchange. Hebrides Travel Agency. They said that for one hundred dollars, Skye's the limit.

"Isn't it great that even with our busy schedules we still make the time to just be together and talk about everything else we should bet getting done?"

'I found it in the Khama Sutra...it's an old indian bondage trick.'

'And thank you for a lovely evening!'