Comedic Travel Escapades Gifts

'We're supposed to be going to Cornwall! That sign back there said 'Welcome to Scotland'!'

Airport Security.

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

Car carrying bikes, biker carrying car.

"How can we get away from it all if you're bringing it all with you?"

'Know any other bed-time tricks?'

Touring Holidays - On the P***

'Two please-and I mean TWO boats!'

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

'I'm going to love having me in Haiti.'

"Loved our evening, Lou. Thanks for being rich."

"Have you got any after ten tours for people who never get up before eight-thirty?"

'That time of year, eh Ben, don't know whether to go hunting or fishing?'

Six arms, no waiting.

I need a Valentine card that proclaims undying love but doesn't commit me to anything.

Fourplay.

'Not now, Lord!'

'Let's go somewhere where I can be alone.'

"I dreamt I was on a desert island with seven starving women."

'Do you have anywhere where they'd think I was good looking.'

"You're not much of a romantic, are you?"

"Gee, I'm sorry this had to happen on our first date!"

'...How could your wife possibly know we're in Venice?'

'Next year we're going where our luggage goes!'

'It was so romantic. The sun, the sea, the mud.'

"If my dad asks where we met just say 'on holiday'."

"You should have told me you needed advice."

"Yes, who do I punch in the face for overbooking my flight?"

"Isn't it great that even with our busy schedules we still make the time to just be together and talk about everything else we should bet getting done?"

'I didn't know I had to bring a rifle. I'm sort of new at this. Last time I went hunting it was for Easter eggs.'

'I found it in the Khama Sutra...it's an old indian bondage trick.'