Comedic Travelers Gifts

'Do you have anywhere where they'd think I was good looking.'

'Next year we're going where our luggage goes!'

'Did you pack your own luggage?'

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Airport Security.

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

'So much for your new Satnav!'

"It's okay dear. Dinner always tastes better when it's caught fresh, thrown back, taken from our cooler, removed from the package, and fried."

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Car carrying bikes, biker carrying car.

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

'I need it for my electric blanket.'

"How can we get away from it all if you're bringing it all with you?"

Touring Holidays - On the P***

Lambo

'Next time, spring for a little more, and get a GOOD GPS'

"Well, they did say half-board."

"Lost, what are you talking about? I'm not lost!"

'We're lost - I told ye to take the low road.'

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

"Yes, who do I punch in the face for overbooking my flight?"

"Thar someone from the IRS blows!"

"You and your crazy idea to hitch-hike through Venice!"

Maps to the Stars

"I have to go wee-wee."

'Not much game about today,boy!'

"I'd like to go somewhere with warm water, balmy breezes and no extradition treaty."

"Oh, bugger!"

'SHOP!!!'

Don't disturb yourself, mum; there's nothing in it that'll smash.

The only way to get a rain free British holiday is to camp above the clouds.

For Those Who Don't Feel That Driving School Is Quite Enough, There's...Driver's University

BOOZE & SNOOZE: 'It's a bed and breakfast with a liquor license.'