Comedic Escapades Gifts

'Not you again. I thought you would've learned your lesson the last time.

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

'Know any other bed-time tricks?'

Joe, this is not my idea of 'paint night at the bar.'

'Two please-and I mean TWO boats!'

Homing Pigeon GPS Manfunction

Great, the skeletons of all the other cartoon characters who were here before us.

'I'm going to love having me in Haiti.'

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

"Loved our evening, Lou. Thanks for being rich."

"Call me a hopeless romantic, but I assumed he was just inviting me."

"It's not the timing of our relationship that's wrong. It's the lighting."

Six arms, no waiting.

'That time of year, eh Ben, don't know whether to go hunting or fishing?'

"Have you got any after ten tours for people who never get up before eight-thirty?"

Sweet Jailbreak

I need a Valentine card that proclaims undying love but doesn't commit me to anything.

'Let's go somewhere where I can be alone.'

'Not now, Lord!'

Fourplay.

"I dreamt I was on a desert island with seven starving women."

"You're not much of a romantic, are you?"

"Lost, what are you talking about? I'm not lost!"

"Gee, I'm sorry this had to happen on our first date!"

'...How could your wife possibly know we're in Venice?'

Maps to the Stars

'I didn't know I had to bring a rifle. I'm sort of new at this. Last time I went hunting it was for Easter eggs.'

'It was so romantic. The sun, the sea, the mud.'

"If my dad asks where we met just say 'on holiday'."

'And thank you for a lovely evening!'

"You should have told me you needed advice."

Non-smoking. Do you have a footsies section and a non-footsies section?

'Not much game about today,boy!'

"Isn't it great that even with our busy schedules we still make the time to just be together and talk about everything else we should bet getting done?"