Comedic Traveler Pillows

"How can we get away from it all if you're bringing it all with you?"

The only way to get a rain free British holiday is to camp above the clouds.

"Our maintenance crew is fixing a problem that should only take a few minutes but which will haunt you for the duration of the flight."

'It's great to see you both. I hope you didn't have too much trouble getting here.'

BOOZE & SNOOZE: 'It's a bed and breakfast with a liquor license.'

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"Yes, who do I punch in the face for overbooking my flight?"

Touring Holidays - On the P***

Airport Security.

A cheap Caribbean holiday is like a cheap Ferrari... Yes, non-existant!

"I'll check again but I'm pretty sure drinking all day isn't one of the activities."

Excess Baggage: You are old enough to remember when folks got all dressed up to travel.

Extreme cold storm in Canada and USA

Welcome To Our Pedestrian Friendly State (All Roads Closed For Construction)

Carefree luggage.

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

'So much for your new Satnav!'

"It's okay dear. Dinner always tastes better when it's caught fresh, thrown back, taken from our cooler, removed from the package, and fried."

Camping holidays in the British summer.

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Car carrying bikes, biker carrying car.

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

'I need it for my electric blanket.'

"All the other passengers have collected and gone so well just have to admit they're ours!"

Great, the skeletons of all the other cartoon characters who were here before us.

"It seems to me you may be experiencing some form of low-level depression."

Lambo

'Next time, spring for a little more, and get a GOOD GPS'

'Do you have anywhere where they'd think I was good looking.'

"Well, they did say half-board."

"Lost, what are you talking about? I'm not lost!"

'We're lost - I told ye to take the low road.'

"You and your crazy idea to hitch-hike through Venice!"

Maps to the Stars

"Thar someone from the IRS blows!"