Comedic Adventure Pillows

Well, @#^*, I put the wrong net in my GPS.

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

Double Saxophone

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

Great, the skeletons of all the other cartoon characters who were here before us.

Joe, this is not my idea of 'paint night at the bar.'

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"Call me a hopeless romantic, but I assumed he was just inviting me."

Lambo

'That time of year, eh Ben, don't know whether to go hunting or fishing?'

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

"Lost, what are you talking about? I'm not lost!"

"It's your husband from beyond. He says stop trying to 'Google' him."

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

'And thank you for a lovely evening!'

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

'I didn't know I had to bring a rifle. I'm sort of new at this. Last time I went hunting it was for Easter eggs.'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

'Not much game about today,boy!'

Maps to the Stars

"I have to go wee-wee."

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

Eskimo in Igloo

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

'This is what happens when you try to blow out that many candles.'

'No, not that Bill Gates.'

Hmmm, this reminds me...your mother called last night.

'...and finally I'd just like to thank my plastic surgeon for giving me these puppies.'

"Of course I flunked the spelling test. My pencil doesn't have spell check!"