College Prepper Gifts

"Being from another planet is worth thirty points towards your child's admission to Harvard."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

Student Loan Office. Calling it a "student" loan does not mean it's just an instructional tool to teach you about lending --- You're required to actually pay it back.

Evaluating Colleges!

"I've spent more sending my son on college campus tours than I did getting my degree."

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

Horn of Leftovers

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

Your granddaughter is studying for SATs. Oh really? Ahem! What did you get on your practice tests? Drool.

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

The 5 paragraph essay is sooo stupid. Why do we have to learn it? So you can get good SAT scores. That will get you into a good college, and then a good job. So you never have to write another 5-paragraph essay again.

Prepper Dog

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

"Aren't you young to be worrying about college?"

"When I go to college, I'm focusing on a STEM area of study!"

"The counselor wasn't much help about getting into college. All he said was to study hard and get good grades."

"Always be prepared."

Contest to enter the University

"This isn't just about the wolf anymore, is it?"

One young wife asking another if she finds it more economical to do her own cooking.

How to survive the coming crash.

Hey, Twig! Ryan Beardsley wants your cell phone number! The divine wonder of West Fester High? Finally! My life changes for the better. He needs activities for his college apps and wants to come to our shortest eco-club cleanup. Change you can believe in. West Fester High School.

Gretchen encounters the mother of all SAT questions.

Climate Change Contingency House

"It would be unwise to attend an interview without doing any preparation in advance.

"Today we're filling out mock college applications."

Safe harbour

"Ned is getting ready for the oceans to rise."

Final Exams Today

"Look what I found on sale! Measuring cups to use for all your recipes!"

"I like to see a man who's prepared, Remson!"