College Prep Strategist Gifts

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Do your research!

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"How was work?"

Do you have any other skills?

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'And finally. . . where do you see yourself on the food chain 5 years from now?'

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

'Thanks for the promotion offer but I was hoping to sleep my way to the top..'

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

Good Luck!

'You have to STUDY for tests, dummy -- you can't just put a memory stick in your ear!'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"Remember when everyone told you this job would lead you nowhere? Well, you've arrived!"

"Yes, I'm sure you do deserve further career advancement. But if I promote you again you'll have my job!"

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

'It's a difficult position to fill. Someone who's smarter than me - and smart enough to pretend not to know it.'

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

"The itsy-bitsy spider went up the corporate ladder. And he didn't care how many lives he ruined along the way. I know, this isn't the book Simon & Schuster wants. But it's the damn truth."

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

'I'm looking for a job that satisfies my lust for power.'

"Where do you see yourself five lives from now?"

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

A man sitting in the grass reading

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"