College Planning Whiz Gifts

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

"When I go to college, I'm focusing on a STEM area of study!"

'Medieval Studies is going nowhere without a 5-year strategic plan.'

'Trevor, it's some gentlemen to see you about your student loan.'

"Summer's coming. How does pre-med camp sound."

'And finally, if you're going to commit a felony, do it before ol' dad incurs the high cost of tuition.'

"Gracie, don't worry. I created a college fund for you the day after you were born. I figure by the time you're 18, it'll total $28,000."

"The best thing about winning an academic decathlon...is the new friends you make."

"Room, board, books, and tuition--I draw the line at corkage fees."

"That's the parents' section."

"Here's 15 cents. I assume you'll go into debt one day putting me through college, so this will take some of the guilt off my conscience."

'I plan to major in political science with a minor in strange bedfellows,'

The kids are going back for another semester.

'You mean I have to learn it as well?'

"I read your college application essay. First of all, the word college has two l's."

'How will we pay for her college.'

Binge Drinking On Campus.

'That? Someone actually made a payment on their mortgage.'