College Planning Gifts

'How will we pay for her college.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

"I'm sorry, Dad. I can't do this. You always say I should prepare for the future...and last I checked, there's no college degree in 'dishwashing.'"

'Your ad here.'

The Empty Nest-Egg Syndrome.

'I have to flunk a few things, Dad, so I'll qualify for a government grant to go to college.'

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Another football scholarship offer?'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

Fishbowl rebellion.

Trust

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

'He's going to college, but he doesn't have an exit strategy.'

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

'After you ask him for the pony, ask him to pay for your college education.'

"Of course I'm not quitting school, Dad! If anything, I've learned that if you want to succeed, you need passion and leadership and a whatever-it-takes attitude!"

"So what happened between you and Estella?"

"Aren't you young to be worrying about college?"