Planning For College Gifts

'God rested on the seventh day - but he wasn't putting his kid through college.'

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

Instead of reading the sports pages, shouldn't you be managing my college fund?

"One day, I'm going to the University of Oxford."

"Gracie, don't worry. I created a college fund for you the day after you were born. I figure by the time you're 18, it'll total $28,000."

Big Bang Theory.

'Hmph. College kids.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Continuing education.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

How come rich kids do so well on SAT tests? Their parents give them books, fancy trips, lessons and

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

'You don't have to worry about my future any more- I just downloaded an entire college education.'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

Good Luck in your Exams.

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'