College Nostalgic Gifts

'You'll never forget your college experience, though grades indicate you've tried.'

Go team!

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

Principal: You are here, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

"...and smoking is forbidden behind the scooter shed"

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

Naughty schoolboys fight behind teacher's back in old fashioned school.

Bell ringer.

Teacher to other about hot dog vendor: 'Since when have we allowed that dude in the building?'

'Gee, maybe there was something wrong with this college.'

"My parents taught me stuff until I was six, and then they outsourced me to Central Elementary."

"I can never remember whether children are to be seen and not heard or the other way around."

"Is it okay if I dissect this ham sandwich?"

Boys at Leisure

The boss is sending me back to school.

"I've been able to pay attention a lot more in class since the teacher separated us."

'I guess my love for Miss Rogers is over...I passed third grade.'

'Trade you my Doggie Cola for tour Toilet Water Drink Box.'

'When I was a student, wireless data transmission meant passing notes in class.'

"You've really blotted your copy book this time Higgins!"

"This is a weird frat."

"I'm old school. Pass me a handwritten note."

"You don't bring me apples anymore."

'I hate to quit school, Mrs. Wiggins, but I got a better offer.'

"How's your spring break going, Jerry?"

"I'm starting to think being class clown was a bad career move."

'I like my history teacher. He's kind of old and I think he lived through much of the history he's teaching.'

There's always one.

"I went to my college class reunion. Everyone else is unemployed."

'You don't believe that stuff about classroom 213 being haunted, do you?'