School Nostalgia Gifts

"You might fake an illness at home, but here, only a fever makes her a believer."

"I'm starting to think being class clown was a bad career move."

Naughty schoolboys fight behind teacher's back in old fashioned school.

'Do you have a pencil I can borrow? I'm out of ink.'

'I like my history teacher. He's kind of old and I think he lived through much of the history he's teaching.'

I must not write Repetitively...

"You don't bring me apples anymore."

Boys at Leisure

"Why does the teacher get paid when we do all the work?"

"I can never remember whether children are to be seen and not heard or the other way around."

'The homework was full of errors yet it was surprisingly tasty.'

My first lunch money dollar.

Teacher to other about hot dog vendor: 'Since when have we allowed that dude in the building?'

"...and smoking is forbidden behind the scooter shed"

'There it is. The first sign of trouble.'

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

'I hate to quit school, Mrs. Wiggins, but I got a better offer.'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"Teacher! What happens if we don't turn in our homework on time?"

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

"Boeing! - In my office, now!"

I'm not substitute teaching after all. How come? They wanted a criminal background check! I was a principal for 15 years. They know me! Yes, but

"Now, my brave little soldier, do you have everything...an apple for your teacher, your satchel, pencils and books - your existential misery??"

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

Principal: You are here, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

Why does every kid want the wallet size? School picture, early days.

"My parents taught me stuff until I was six, and then they outsourced me to Central Elementary."

'When I was your age, an 'A' did not stand for 'adequate'.'

The Presidential Physical Fitness Test

"... And since then, I've been quietly stalking you."

Bell ringer.

"I think he sometimes regrets hiring a former first grade teacher as his secretary."