College Nostalgia Lover Gifts

"Yes, I still wear my Harvard ring. It helps when I slug someone."

Go team!

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

"Now, my brave little soldier, do you have everything...an apple for your teacher, your satchel, pencils and books - your existential misery??"

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

Principal: You are here, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

Why does every kid want the wallet size? School picture, early days.

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

"...and smoking is forbidden behind the scooter shed"

Naughty schoolboys fight behind teacher's back in old fashioned school.

"I can never remember whether children are to be seen and not heard or the other way around."

'Gee, maybe there was something wrong with this college.'

Teacher to other about hot dog vendor: 'Since when have we allowed that dude in the building?'

The Presidential Physical Fitness Test

Bell ringer.

"My parents taught me stuff until I was six, and then they outsourced me to Central Elementary."

'When I was your age, an 'A' did not stand for 'adequate'.'

Back to School Supplies - 1928 'A new hat?!!' 2006 - 'There's more in the car.'

"I've been able to pay attention a lot more in class since the teacher separated us."

Boys at Leisure

'I guess my love for Miss Rogers is over...I passed third grade.'

"Is it okay if I dissect this ham sandwich?"

The boss is sending me back to school.

'Trade you my Doggie Cola for tour Toilet Water Drink Box.'

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

'These are the happiest years of my life, eh? -- you obviously haven't met my algebra teacher!'

Prom 2020

'I was only promoted to fourth grade ten minutes ago, and I've already wiped third grade out of my mind.'

"How's your spring break going, Jerry?"

"You've really blotted your copy book this time Higgins!"

"This is a weird frat."

'I hate to quit school, Mrs. Wiggins, but I got a better offer.'

"You don't bring me apples anymore."