College Nostalgist Gifts

'I'm afraid all those goldfish you swallowed back in college have finally caught up with you.'

Go team!

"Teacher! What happens if we don't turn in our homework on time?"

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

Principal: You are here, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

Bell ringer.

"My parents taught me stuff until I was six, and then they outsourced me to Central Elementary."

'Gee, maybe there was something wrong with this college.'

'When I was your age, an 'A' did not stand for 'adequate'.'

"What are you writing?"

The boss is sending me back to school.

"I'm impressed! Junior actually asked to use our old-fashioned dictionary!"

'I guess my love for Miss Rogers is over...I passed third grade.'

"Is it okay if I dissect this ham sandwich?"

Back to School Supplies - 1928 'A new hat?!!' 2006 - 'There's more in the car.'

"I've been able to pay attention a lot more in class since the teacher separated us."

'Trade you my Doggie Cola for tour Toilet Water Drink Box.'

Prom 2020

'When I was a student, wireless data transmission meant passing notes in class.'

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

"I'm old school. Pass me a handwritten note."

"You've really blotted your copy book this time Higgins!"

"This is a weird frat."

"How's your spring break going, Jerry?"

"I went to my college class reunion. Everyone else is unemployed."

There's always one.

'You don't believe that stuff about classroom 213 being haunted, do you?'

Admit it! You're gonna miss High School. Best 5 1/2 Years of Your Life.

"I need time off to go back to college and party. Fraternity leave"

'This is what we use for that 'new school year' smell.'