College Nostalgist Mugs

'I'm afraid all those goldfish you swallowed back in college have finally caught up with you.'

Go team!

"Teacher! What happens if we don't turn in our homework on time?"

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

I'm not substitute teaching after all. How come? They wanted a criminal background check! I was a principal for 15 years. They know me! Yes, but

"Now, my brave little soldier, do you have everything...an apple for your teacher, your satchel, pencils and books - your existential misery??"

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

Principal: You are here, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Why does every kid want the wallet size? School picture, early days.

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

'Gee, maybe there was something wrong with this college.'

Bell ringer.

"My parents taught me stuff until I was six, and then they outsourced me to Central Elementary."

'When I was your age, an 'A' did not stand for 'adequate'.'

"What are you writing?"

"I've been able to pay attention a lot more in class since the teacher separated us."

"I'm impressed! Junior actually asked to use our old-fashioned dictionary!"

"Is it okay if I dissect this ham sandwich?"

'I guess my love for Miss Rogers is over...I passed third grade.'

Back to School Supplies - 1928 'A new hat?!!' 2006 - 'There's more in the car.'

The boss is sending me back to school.

'Trade you my Doggie Cola for tour Toilet Water Drink Box.'

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

Prom 2020

'When I was a student, wireless data transmission meant passing notes in class.'

"This is a weird frat."

"How's your spring break going, Jerry?"

"I'm old school. Pass me a handwritten note."

"You've really blotted your copy book this time Higgins!"

"I went to my college class reunion. Everyone else is unemployed."

There's always one.

Admit it! You're gonna miss High School. Best 5 1/2 Years of Your Life.

'You don't believe that stuff about classroom 213 being haunted, do you?'

"I need time off to go back to college and party. Fraternity leave"