Campus Nostalgia Gifts

Brett Beer: It's the best beer to ever make me ralph. And I've ralphed a lot.

Go team!

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

Principal: You are here, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

"...and smoking is forbidden behind the scooter shed"

Naughty schoolboys fight behind teacher's back in old fashioned school.

Teacher to other about hot dog vendor: 'Since when have we allowed that dude in the building?'

'Gee, maybe there was something wrong with this college.'

"I can never remember whether children are to be seen and not heard or the other way around."

The Presidential Physical Fitness Test

"My parents taught me stuff until I was six, and then they outsourced me to Central Elementary."

Bell ringer.

"I think he sometimes regrets hiring a former first grade teacher as his secretary."

'Take this to your boss. It works for me with my teacher.'

"Is it okay if I dissect this ham sandwich?"

'I guess my love for Miss Rogers is over...I passed third grade.'

"I've been able to pay attention a lot more in class since the teacher separated us."

The boss is sending me back to school.

Boys at Leisure

'These are the happiest years of my life, eh? -- you obviously haven't met my algebra teacher!'

'When I was a student, wireless data transmission meant passing notes in class.'

'I was only promoted to fourth grade ten minutes ago, and I've already wiped third grade out of my mind.'

'I hate to quit school, Mrs. Wiggins, but I got a better offer.'

"This is a weird frat."

"You don't bring me apples anymore."

"I'm starting to think being class clown was a bad career move."

"I went to my college class reunion. Everyone else is unemployed."

'I like my history teacher. He's kind of old and I think he lived through much of the history he's teaching.'

'You don't believe that stuff about classroom 213 being haunted, do you?'

"You might fake an illness at home, but here, only a fever makes her a believer."

"I need time off to go back to college and party. Fraternity leave"