College Hoops Fanatic Gifts

BOBBY KNIGHT: Age one

"Gerald is retired, but during March Madness, he goes back to the office to play the college hoops sports pools."

"Good game."

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

"How should we divide the teams?"

The Salmon Run

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'It's a combination of March Madness,,, and Linsanity,'

Why moms make bad refs.

'I don't mind players entering the NBA at an early age. It's the diaper changes that I hate.'

I love Basketball.

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

Cheerleaders

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Basketball.

'Hold on, Pepe!... The score is tied with less than a minute to go - and the losing team gets boiled.'

'This is it, gentlemen. The big game. A date with dentistry.'

'I just wish that meant getting ready for the prom instead of the NCAA basketball tournament.'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'Billy - no! Do not ask for his autograph. He'll lose his natural fear of fans, become a nuisance, and then he'll need to be tranquilized and relocated to Europe.'

'Please, Dad? Can we? Can we? Pleeeease?'

'In this league, guys, it's all about winning. And we're like, what, 0 and 10? That's why coach got the ax.'

Kobe Bryant

'What do you mean you didn't learn anything? You learned how to tackle, didn't you?'

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

'Good news, it's not mad cow...it's March madness.'

'He's got a good attitude, and he's tall. But he's got to get into the weight room.'

'I hate playing stinkbugs! Every time we press them on defense, they just let 'e rip!'

'Gotta cut your grade back for that.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'... And for $50 more, this is the same basketball shoe in a turbo model.'