College Basketball Enthusiast Gifts

"I came to a sports doctor because I fell off the sofa cheering for a 'March Madness' basketball team."

'It's a combination of March Madness,,, and Linsanity,'

'Ring around the rosey ...'

"Good game."

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

"How should we divide the teams?"

The Salmon Run

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

Playing pig

'I don't mind players entering the NBA at an early age. It's the diaper changes that I hate.'

Why moms make bad refs.

I love Basketball.

Cheerleaders

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

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'Hold on, Pepe!... The score is tied with less than a minute to go - and the losing team gets boiled.'

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

Basketball.

Puppy.

'This is it, gentlemen. The big game. A date with dentistry.'

'In this league, guys, it's all about winning. And we're like, what, 0 and 10? That's why coach got the ax.'

'What do you mean you didn't learn anything? You learned how to tackle, didn't you?'

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

'I just wish that meant getting ready for the prom instead of the NCAA basketball tournament.'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'Billy - no! Do not ask for his autograph. He'll lose his natural fear of fans, become a nuisance, and then he'll need to be tranquilized and relocated to Europe.'

Kobe Bryant

'Please, Dad? Can we? Can we? Pleeeease?'

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

Game In A Can.

Try Our New Slam Dunk Coffee and Donut Special.

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'