College Basketball Enthusiast Gifts

"I came to a sports doctor because I fell off the sofa cheering for a 'March Madness' basketball team."

'Ring around the rosey ...'

"Good game."

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"How should we divide the teams?"

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

The Salmon Run

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

Why moms make bad refs.

'I don't mind players entering the NBA at an early age. It's the diaper changes that I hate.'

Cheerleaders

I love Basketball.

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

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Puppy.

Basketball.

'Hold on, Pepe!... The score is tied with less than a minute to go - and the losing team gets boiled.'

'This is it, gentlemen. The big game. A date with dentistry.'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'I just wish that meant getting ready for the prom instead of the NCAA basketball tournament.'

'In this league, guys, it's all about winning. And we're like, what, 0 and 10? That's why coach got the ax.'

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

Game In A Can.

'Billy - no! Do not ask for his autograph. He'll lose his natural fear of fans, become a nuisance, and then he'll need to be tranquilized and relocated to Europe.'

'What do you mean you didn't learn anything? You learned how to tackle, didn't you?'

Kobe Bryant

'Please, Dad? Can we? Can we? Pleeeease?'

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

'Guys! The turnovers are KILLING us!'

Basketball injuries.