College Sports Aficionado Gifts

Big 10 play football after all Football

"Portrait of a Lady"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

Cheerleaders

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

The Harper Plays Cricket.

Cristiano Ronaldo

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

Football.

Fox hunting.

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

'What do you mean you didn't learn anything? You learned how to tackle, didn't you?'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'What are the chances? I mean, all 10 players simultaneously dive for a loose ball and conk heads?'

"So it was a performance enhancing drug."

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

Soccer player being showered with toilet roles and a toilet.

'Fantastic!Stupendous!Masterly!Mind blowing!Polished!Unbeatable!Amazing!Incredible! Out of this world!...a performance that's left me speechless.'

"Would you like something by an over promoted high-price athlete or a nobody from Jersey?"