College Freshman Year Gifts

"It's the stress of freshman year, sir."

The Art Student.

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Big Bang Theory.

'Hmph. College kids.'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Continuing education.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'I'm supposed to take a geography test and I can't find the right room!'

"My homework ate my dog."

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

Kardiff.

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

'You don't have to worry about my future any more- I just downloaded an entire college education.'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

Good Luck in your Exams.

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Santa does a keg stand.