College Newbie Gifts

"I can't believe I'm in college. I never even found Waldo yet."

'It's so weird at college, mom. The kids there are so different.'

Big Bang Theory.

'Hmph. College kids.'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Continuing education.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"My homework ate my dog."

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

'You don't have to worry about my future any more- I just downloaded an entire college education.'

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

Santa does a keg stand.

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Good Luck in your Exams.

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

'WOW! This ladies' nav app is fantastic!'

Pull an all-nighter?

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."