College Kid Gifts

'My daughter tells me you're allowed to come home on weekends...is that from college?'

The Art Student.

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'Hmph. College kids.'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Likes: $2.

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'I'm supposed to take a geography test and I can't find the right room!'

"My homework ate my dog."

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Kardiff.

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

Santa does a keg stand.

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

'Your thesis on 'how to keep warm in winter'? Interesting.'