Children In College Gifts

'Six kids in college! Laid off from work! Installment payments due 7 days a week...and our lawyer keeps saying 'Not Yet, Not Yet!''

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

Likes: $2.

"My homework ate my dog."

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

'Your thesis on 'how to keep warm in winter'? Interesting.'

"Be afraid to try new things!"

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"I'd like to spend a year abroad before getting tied to quill and parchment."

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

The Graveyard of Past Deadlines

Victor Frankenstein's Dream: 'This should definitely get me extra credit in my anatomy class.'

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

Student Food Pyramid

Believing that clothes make the man, Dave goes for the 'smart guy' look.

Student Debt

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

"What did you study in school today, Gracie?"

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

'The children are leaving the nest, honey! They're not diving in the Olympics...That was at leas a 6.5 by the way.'

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

"So what happened between you and Estella?"

Frat House Feng Shui

'Oh, yeah? Well, my kid has accrued more college loan debt than your kid!'

"That's in case Mum skypes me."

'Dude, you gotta lay off the Mac n' Cheese!'

'I'm sorry, but I haven't understood a word you've babbled since I turned left on red.'