College Student Gifts

Nancy Wheeler/Natalia Dyer

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

'I'd like to change my major from electrical engineering to English or something.'

Cave College: 'We offer two majors, Hunting and Gathering.'

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

"I miss my mom's home-cooked methamphetamine."

The Graveyard of Past Deadlines

'He has an MBA from Wharton.'

'Did you remove all the cliches and slang from your term paper?', 'Like, totally, dude!'

I got my degree in like, you know, communications.

'You know Doug just isn't a morning person. This afternoon's not looking too good, either.'

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

"That's in case Mum skypes me."

"I need money to finance my studies in criminal psychology with a focus on antisocial behavior."

'No I don't have scissors you can borrow.'

'Dude, you gotta lay off the Mac n' Cheese!'

"I gave you half credit on your paper ? Franklin did invent the stove, but Jefferson didn't invent the airplane."

"Virtual classes have some definite advantages."

"I just got the place feeling like home again and now it's time to go back to college."

'You'd think a Humanities professor would be more lenient in her grading.'

Victor Frankenstein's Dream: 'This should definitely get me extra credit in my anatomy class.'

"To us you're more than just students. You're a revolving source of revenue."

"All my college books are electronic textbooks, so my backpack weighs less now than it did when I was in elementary school."

"My homework ate my dog."

'My son is in college and switched out of engineering into fraternity partying. He days he finds it less intense.'

Milestone in a college student's life: 'Hey! I just got my first collection agency letter, dunning me for my credit card debt!'

'Well, Gosh...! How did you know I was an incoming freshman...?'

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

"Enjoy university darling, and don't come back during the holidays, we're going to air BnB your room."

"I'd like to spend a year abroad before getting tied to quill and parchment."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack -- B.M.O.C.

Frat House Feng Shui

"Believe me, you don't want to visit that club. Its members drone on and on."

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

Spring Break Business