Child Starting College Gifts

"Good day, Madam. I'm working my son's way through college."

Big Bang Theory.

'Hmph. College kids.'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Continuing education.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

'You don't have to worry about my future any more- I just downloaded an entire college education.'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

Good Luck in your Exams.

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

Pull an all-nighter?

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

"I learned how to shop online, mommy. If you see a series of tractor trailers arrive, it's just the rest of the stuff I ordered."

'WOW! This ladies' nav app is fantastic!'

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

'I finished my homework, and half my college freshman courses.'

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

"Do you know Lincoln's Gettysburg Address?"