Sending A Child To College Gifts

"Next on our agenda is a reminder to the E.R. staff that it's that time of year again...we need to gear up for the influx of parents that just wrote those college tuition checks."

How come rich kids do so well on SAT tests? Their parents give them books, fancy trips, lessons and

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

Fishbowl rebellion.

Trust

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

'He's going to college, but he doesn't have an exit strategy.'

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

'The children are leaving the nest, honey! They're not diving in the Olympics...That was at leas a 6.5 by the way.'

'Oh, yeah? Well, my kid has accrued more college loan debt than your kid!'

'I want to go out of town so that I can become a fully independent person, but near enough so that I can bring my laundry home.'

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

"Your room is exactly how you left it before you went to college, except of course, for our boarder, Mr. Grunze."

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

"Have you given any thought at all about where you might like to accrue your student loan debt?"

'He's trying to put three kids through college.'

'Nots so hot on my SATS, but I aced my STDS.'

"Kids in college? Well, won't it be nice to have them home?"

"I worry about the parents when I'm off to college. They're totally dependent on me for IT support."

Here's the college for me! It's totally green. Let's see. I though you wanted warm weather. Look at the brochure. There's no snow in any of the pictures. The school is in Minnesota. Wow! Early signs of global warming. Who knew it hit college brochures first?

"Sure, explore as far and as wide as you want, I'm not worried, your instinct will guide you home when you're ready..."

I hate going to the doctor.

"I suppose it's 'Empty Nest Syndrome', doctor. . . ever since Amber left for college I've felt so empty!"

'They're 'individual' cheese slices, Herb, We knew one day they would go out on their own,'

What will be the worst part about your first semester of college being online classes only? My little brother will be my freshman year roommate!