Sending A Child To College Pillows

"Next on our agenda is a reminder to the E.R. staff that it's that time of year again...we need to gear up for the influx of parents that just wrote those college tuition checks."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

Fishbowl rebellion.

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

Trust

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

'He's going to college, but he doesn't have an exit strategy.'

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

'The children are leaving the nest, honey! They're not diving in the Olympics...That was at leas a 6.5 by the way.'

'Oh, yeah? Well, my kid has accrued more college loan debt than your kid!'

'I want to go out of town so that I can become a fully independent person, but near enough so that I can bring my laundry home.'

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

"Your room is exactly how you left it before you went to college, except of course, for our boarder, Mr. Grunze."

"Have you given any thought at all about where you might like to accrue your student loan debt?"

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

'It's the only way I can afford this place.'

"Sure, explore as far and as wide as you want, I'm not worried, your instinct will guide you home when you're ready..."

"I suppose it's 'Empty Nest Syndrome', doctor. . . ever since Amber left for college I've felt so empty!"

'Nots so hot on my SATS, but I aced my STDS.'

'They're 'individual' cheese slices, Herb, We knew one day they would go out on their own,'

"I worry about the parents when I'm off to college. They're totally dependent on me for IT support."

"Kids in college? Well, won't it be nice to have them home?"