Sending Child To University Gifts

'We've just sent the boy to university. It was cheaper than the train.'

"Be afraid to try new things!"

I do want you to have a role in the group,but I wasn't thinking of 'the bloke who sits at the back eating biscuits and having a bit of a nap'.

'Good news Mom. I was accepted to the college of your choice.'

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'Oh, yeah? Well, my kid has accrued more college loan debt than your kid!'

"I never got the chance to be homesick. You tweeted about me 20 times a day."

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'He's trying to put three kids through college.'

"Kids in college? Well, won't it be nice to have them home?"

'They're 'individual' cheese slices, Herb, We knew one day they would go out on their own,'

"I suppose it's 'Empty Nest Syndrome', doctor. . . ever since Amber left for college I've felt so empty!"

'I'm going to the library to study, so don't wait up.'

With their only child off to college, the Gilmonts each suffered empty-nest syndrome in their own way.

"I guess we love Uni because we get to narrow our minds with like-minded people."

"Higher learning gets higher each year."

I'm forgetting which college is which. Their brochures are all alike. University of. It's always fall or spring. Apply! There's always a multi-cultural group of kids hanging out. There's always a girl in goggles working in a science lab with an ethnic-looking prof. It's reassuring. They all celebrate their diversity in the exact same way! And charge the exact same for it!

'My son is away at college, majoring in communications. He never calls and he never writes.'

"There was a time when only the rich went to university... now even they can't afford it."

"Our son is off at college, so as a reminder of him, I keep a dirty sock-scented candle burning in his room."

'So our son can't move back in -- furniture sale!'

"Either we've been robbed or the kids left without saying goodbye."

Touring campuses with Twig was fun. Now I don't want to go back to work! Quit! I'm earning your tuition money, Teddy. Wait. You went to college to get a good job so

"You think you can just bribe your son's way into college with a $5000 check? We'll need at least £10,000!"

Relax! The college process need not be stressful! Staying calm actually helps your child cope. Parents' night. Top colleges are brutally competitive. Even state universities are rejecting excellent students. I'm relaxed. Me too!

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"This place feels huge since all my sisters went off to college."

'Yes, your father studied at a 'red brick university'. He never graduated though, because he's as thick as a red brick!'

The kids are going back for another semester.

"Well, I think it's good that he wants to go to university."

Are you eating properly?

'How will we pay for her college.'

Beggar's sign: 'children at university.'

"The kids are in college. . . what are we going to do with ourselves?"

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