Children Leaving For University Gifts

"Right, now the kids are off to Uni, I've got 18 years worth of tv to catch up on..."

"I learned how to shop online, mommy. If you see a series of tractor trailers arrive, it's just the rest of the stuff I ordered."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

'The children are leaving the nest, honey! They're not diving in the Olympics...That was at leas a 6.5 by the way.'

'Yes, I'm proud to say all my kids went into boot camp as soon as they left home.'

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

'Oh, yeah? Well, my kid has accrued more college loan debt than your kid!'

'Eat your carrots. They are good for growing children.'

'They're 'individual' cheese slices, Herb, We knew one day they would go out on their own,'

'He's trying to put three kids through college.'

"I suppose it's 'Empty Nest Syndrome', doctor. . . ever since Amber left for college I've felt so empty!"

"Kids in college? Well, won't it be nice to have them home?"

I would like to start a regualr investment program that will help pay my daughter's college textbooks

With their only child off to college, the Gilmonts each suffered empty-nest syndrome in their own way.

"How about you slap me on the wrist and I neither admit nor deny any wrongdoing."

Bedroom Furniture.

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'Ask yourself, dear - do we need this big plaice now the children are married and gone?'

"Oh George. My heart."

'OK, so your brother's first flight was far from being a success, but have a go son!'

'Oh him? That's Frank. My parents made me take in a boarder to cover the cost of my car insurance.'

"He's at that awkward age - not completely out of the house but no longer a tax deduction."

Letting Go

'My son is away at college, majoring in communications. He never calls and he never writes.'

"We're suffering from empty-nest syndrome."

'So our son can't move back in -- furniture sale!'

"The kids have grown up and left home...now it's YOUR turn...

"Our son is off at college, so as a reminder of him, I keep a dirty sock-scented candle burning in his room."

'I know that we once made a list of all the things we'd do when the kids left home but I can't remember one of them!'

"Either we've been robbed or the kids left without saying goodbye."

'I feel so empty since the kids left home.'

Not-quite-empty-enough-nest Syndrome

Empty Nest.