Kids Leaving For College Gifts

'The children are leaving the nest, honey! They're not diving in the Olympics...That was at leas a 6.5 by the way.'

"Looks like the kids have gone off to college. Let's grab a few years alone in the house before they decide to return."

"It was great seeing you – we'll have to have you two over once the kids have grown up and left for college."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

'Oh, yeah? Well, my kid has accrued more college loan debt than your kid!'

"Kids in college? Well, won't it be nice to have them home?"

"I suppose it's 'Empty Nest Syndrome', doctor. . . ever since Amber left for college I've felt so empty!"

'They're 'individual' cheese slices, Herb, We knew one day they would go out on their own,'

"I worry about the parents when I'm off to college. They're totally dependent on me for IT support."

'He's trying to put three kids through college.'

I would like to start a regualr investment program that will help pay my daughter's college textbooks

With their only child off to college, the Gilmonts each suffered empty-nest syndrome in their own way.

"Oh George. My heart."

'OK, so your brother's first flight was far from being a success, but have a go son!'

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'My son is away at college, majoring in communications. He never calls and he never writes.'

"Either we've been robbed or the kids left without saying goodbye."

"Our son is off at college, so as a reminder of him, I keep a dirty sock-scented candle burning in his room."

'I know that we once made a list of all the things we'd do when the kids left home but I can't remember one of them!'

Touring campuses with Twig was fun. Now I don't want to go back to work! Quit! I'm earning your tuition money, Teddy. Wait. You went to college to get a good job so

'So our son can't move back in -- furniture sale!'

'Now that the kids have grown and gone I've decided to rent out their room.'

The kids are going back for another semester.

Relax! The college process need not be stressful! Staying calm actually helps your child cope. Parents' night. Top colleges are brutally competitive. Even state universities are rejecting excellent students. I'm relaxed. Me too!

Posh students drinking beer.

'We've found that having our kids leave for college from an actual nest helps them to grasp this momentous passage in their lives.'

'How will we pay for her college.'

Beggar's sign: 'children at university.'

"The kids are in college. . . what are we going to do with ourselves?"

Two bills for college tuition

'Your claim that you only put this on for the kids would be more convincing if they weren't both away at university.'

Angry White Males.