Heading To College Gifts

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Big Bang Theory.

'Hmph. College kids.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Continuing education.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

How come rich kids do so well on SAT tests? Their parents give them books, fancy trips, lessons and

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

'You don't have to worry about my future any more- I just downloaded an entire college education.'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Good Luck in your Exams.

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

'WOW! This ladies' nav app is fantastic!'

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

Fishbowl rebellion.